"I am honored to be here among the next generation of helpers and healers, and so many scholars…thank you for the opportunity to be in this space with you.
Congratulations to the class of 2025! How many of you never thought you would see this day? Going through this process is emotional, you are not sure when you are going to find the time, then you’re not sure when you’re going to sleep again, you cry, laugh, scream and then all of a sudden here you are ready to receive your degree wondering where the time went.
You did not do this alone so please thank and celebrate everyone who supported you, from the staff to the faculty, and of course, your loved ones.
As I talk with you today, I am going to let you in on a few lessons learned in my life, and hopefully at least one will resonate with you now and maybe a few others along your continued journey. I’m going to share some things that might surprise you – our stories are such important aspects of how we all find our way to social work, and can have so much to do with how our professional lives unfold.
I graduated from Stony Brook University 20 years ago with a Masters of Social Work, but all of my lessons learned did not start there.
I was born into a home that had already experienced trauma from their own familial abuse and immigration from a war-torn country. My mother was a survivor, who at 19, I believe thought having a child would make her whole. Well, it did not. It made her fall deeper into her own mental illness and propelled me into the street life by the time I was a very young person, continuing through my older teens. My alleged father was passive, and he too did not understand the role that he was supposed to play in protecting me from what was to come.
While on my journey through my teenage years I did what all kids do, hung out on the streets of Brooklyn, dropped out of school, joined a gang and got high….oh wait….that is not what ALL kids do, it is what trauma affected kids do.
Lesson: As I got older and worked on myself, therapy a lot of therapy, I realized that my behaviors were not because I was a bad person who wanted to hurt myself or others with intentionality, but that it was because of my trauma. I took this particular lesson into working with children and families….I always bring the voice of the lived experience into the room, the voice of my own experience and those who have shared their stories with me along the way. Do not forget the voice of the people you serve; they are the experts of their own lives and add value to how we understand how to move forward in this work.
As to be predicted, what comes with trauma behavior: I was addicted to drugs and was a menace to society. Yes, this person standing before you, who Dean Miller introduced in all of the ways you heard a few mintues ago, was someone your loved ones may have kept you away from. The 61st precinct found me after my 3rd overdose, and I was asked to enter a treatment program out of state to get out of the gang life and get clean.
Lesson: but for the color of my skin, I should have been in foster care and jail. My privilege granted me opportunities that not everyone around me had. Recognize the privilege that you bring to the table in the work that you do; recognize the bias that you bring to the work and ensure that you are partnering with individuals and families; see the world through their lenses and their experiences, not that of your own; if you do not you will miss opportunities to empower them in their healing process and you will create programs/policies/procedures based on how you see the world instead of reflecting the perspectives of the very people your work intends to support and heal.
While in that program, I was annoying (cleaned version of the word.) [MOU1] But I stayed, got clean and still am.
Lesson: One man, Johnny, who has since passed, would not allow me to feel alone in this world, he never gave up on me no matter how hard I tried to push him away…He became what I learned was a chosen family. You do not need to save the world; you need to be the one person whose shoulders are big enough for another person to stand on when they cannot stand on their own. I never intended to become who I am, never thought I would accomplish what I have and still have more to do. Many times, I still feel like an imposter. Who is this person? But I will always remember Johnny. My work although now very widely scoping in scale, will always be made for the one person who needs someone’s shoulders to stand on.
Fast forward: I graduated from that program which also came along with graduating high school. During my time there I learned Microsoft DOS (does anyone here even know what that i?s)…I was asked if I wanted a job with Microsoft; I turned it down because I wanted to help the people…
Lesson: what in the world did I do, the money I could have made…..only kidding….make choices that fulfill your mind, body and soul. You have chosen a career that is both beautiful and painful; you’re going to want to never leave it and wonder why you ever entered it, but recognize that if you do it, using all the tools that you have obtained….you are making a difference in this world no matter how small or how big. That is something to be very proud of.
I entered college as an undergraduate student, had 3 jobs, had a car that did not go up hills, moved out on my own, and made so many mistakes… I was 19…what in the world did I know about living as an adult.
Lesson: no one is ready to navigate this world at that age….many are forced to. I brought this exact feeling to my work with youth in foster care…..by law they must leave foster care at the age of 21…I focused on ensuring that case planners begin to work with youth in foster care on becoming independent when they are their mid-teens…they are still not ready but you have to give them a fighting chance.
I moved around many times in my career as a social worker…I worked for some organizations for 1 yr, 2yrs, 5 yrs, in NY, outside of NYC and completed my master’s degree in social work. I was looking for my career, I was not settled yet.
Lesson: This life is not a dress rehearsal, you do not get to press the reset button to start the game over, sometimes things are not going to go as planned and stuff happens. I made decisions that shook my stability, only to find out I was supposed to go through that. Go out there..persevere…continue to be great, make mistakes and do not make them again but learn from them; embrace the challenges..there is so much to learn from them.
I found child welfare, Child Protective Services to be exact. Once I learned what they were supposed to do I wanted to become what I knew I had needed when I was a child.
I have kept that commitment throughout my career from the front-lines as a Child Protective Worker moving through the ranks, and now as an Associate Commissioner for the New York State Office of Family and Children Services, where I get to partner with some of the most brilliant, thought provoking folks in this field, and also bring them all of my lessons learned through my journey in this work . And, I get to learn theirs and then the magic happens…
Lesson: when I left front-line work as a field worker and became a manager- all of a sudden I was Ms. Davidson, when that past Friday I was Sandi. I tried wearing heels, woman figured suits and tried to be straight….look at me? how long do you think that lasted?…Never compromise who you are for a position, never become what you vowed not to…overtime I ditched the heels and came out of the closet…everyone’s reaction..and I quote, “We were waiting for YOU to realize that.” It was at that moment I became who I needed…I poured my heart into my work, partnering and leading some of the most influential initiatives that brought the foster care census in NYC down from 55,000 in 2001 to just below 7000 today, rolled out an alternative track response to Child Protective Investigations where children and families who just needed support to thrive vs. a formalized investigation, research, training, curriculum development and so many other initiatives that stand today in support of children and families.
One last lesson. What we as social workers do for a living is not normal…it is not normal to see poverty, oppression, mental illness, and at many times feelings of despair every day. You are the connection for people between heartache and hope. Take care of yourself, find outlets that allow you to release it all so that you can continue to do the great work I know you all do. Me, I joined the fire department…I became a first responder again, helping people in a way that wasn’t about a title. Some may say that this depletes my cup even more but for me it fills it back up, reenergizes me to continue to do that good work, the work that matters to the people that we serve. I am not perfect, I am human and sometimes I still feel like an imposter, but it is real and for those of you who feel that way, pinch yourself this is real.
Now more than ever we need you, we need the next generation of healers to lead us through dark days back into the light…whatever side of this current argument you are on…have a mission for compassion and empathy for the voiceless…the people that cannot find their voice or their strength to live their truth, to nurture the people they love and to dream.
…I want you to say out loud…I am proud of myself, and I matter. Now turn to the person next to you and tell them I am proud of you, and you matter in this world. Now turn back to the front and say this out loud..I will not let this degree sit idle, now let’s get this party started.
Thank you and once again congratulations".
Sandra Davidson, MSW'05
Associate Commissioner, NYC Regional Director
Child Welfare & Community Services
